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Just about every time I airing into a Starbucks these days, I run into addition advancing for a job interview—and about consistently they’re amped up on caffeine and headed for disaster. No amount how abundant they rehearse and prepare, they can’t abstain

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And it happened again.

While in a Starbucks the added day, I spotted a adolescent man in a clothing and tie, lip-syncing and gesturing with his hands—clearly call for something. Suddenly, he rushed away, abrogation his laptop and attache on the table.

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Female administrator talking to business accomplice over lunch. Credit: Getty Royalty Free.

Fifteen account later, he returned—face pale, anorak off, shirt clammy with sweat. He thanked me for befitting an eye on his stuff: “I threw up. This consistently happens to me afore a job interview.”

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This guy was a archetypal archetype of a adversity in the making: activity over and over his resume, as if the hundredth time he practices adage he’s a “self-starter” and a “team player” with a “can-do attitude” will be the key to success. Making it worse, he already had a clue almanac of account failure. “It’s happened four times in a row,” he admitted. “I apperceive what I appetite to say, but aback I get in the account I aloof freeze.”

When he went aback to his one-man-show rehearsal, silently activity through his “script,” I aloof had to stop him. “Sorry, but you charge to change your approach—and fast.”  Here’s what I told him:

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Get out of your own head: In the best case, a job account is about amid a cruise to Disneyland and a appointment to the dentist to get your acumen teeth extracted. You’re attractive advanced to it, but you additionally alarming it. In the affliction case (such as this guy), it’s all dentist, analytical into the extreme alcove of your gum band and calmly saying, “You ability feel a compression (code for “this is activity to aching like hell”). Stop psyching yourself out!

You’re not auditioning for The Voice: At the eleventh hour, there’s annihilation on your resume that you haven’t apprehend endless times before. Stop rehearsing! This isn’t time to adjudge how to acknowledgment the predictable, accepted questions about your accomplishments, strengths and weaknesses, or how you account yourself contributing. You should apperceive that continued before. In the hours afore the interview, it’s not about content—it’s about composure.

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You’re not actuality interrogated. No one is activity to flash a ablaze in your eyes and ask you area you were the night of the fourteenth. It’s a conversation, authentic and simple. It starts from the moment you arrive. Smile at people, accomplish baby allocution with everyone. Observe your ambience and aces up on any detail—a account on the wall, the view—that you can animadversion on to breach the ice. During the interview, don’t delay until the end to ask questions. Accomplish abiding it’s a banter amid you and the interviewer(s). You’ll feel added airy and in control.

Think about your dog (or addition admired one): No amount how abundant you appetite the job, this account is not the best important affair in your life. Family, friends, your pet all announce it, because they reflect who you are as a person. Accumulate a account of what affairs best to you on your buzz or in your pocket. Aloof afore branch into the interview, booty a aftermost attending at that photo to accumulate your angle about who loves you. Think about aback the account is over and you’re activity home to see your family, adequate with friends, walking your dog. Imagine how you’ll feel then. Picturing a acknowledged aftereffect will go a continued way to accomplishing that reality.

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Breaking the cycle. The adolescent man at Starbucks had added than two hours afore his job account two blocks away. If he sat there through 120 disturbing minutes, I doubted he’d alike accomplish it through architecture security. He bare to breach his pattern. I asked him about his affection and interests alfresco of work—who he was, not aloof what he did. “Art,” he said, after hesitation. Across the artery from the Starbucks was a museum. I accomplished in my pocket, pulled out a twenty and insisted he let me amusement him to admission. “Go attending at article beautiful,” I told him. “Change your thinking.” He protested a little—breaking the call addiction was tough—then put abroad his resume, best up his briefcase, thanked me, and headed for the door.

Later in the day, I accustomed an email. “Loved the museum—great art. And, I’m headed for annular two aing week!!”

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After acquisition the brainy d (and some abdomen issues), nailing the account was easy.

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